Bloggers ...

We're an interesting breed ... aren't we ?
Bloggers ...

Even though I write a lot ( crap .. mostly ) ... I don't read much ..
So, the list of blogs that I read on the right pane might not be as elaborate as it would be for so many bloggers out there ...

But then again, I have been online from 11 tonight ... to now ... that is about 2:24 am ... wandering ... from one blog to another ... just reading ... and honestly, had a lot of fun doing that ... just reading ...

One really funny post that I visited for the easily the tenth time, and still enjoyed reading was : this

I suggest you check that out too ...
You won't be disappointed ...

Slaves to technology ...

Councillor Harmann: Down here, sometimes I think about all those people still plugged into the Matrix and when I look at these machines I... I can't help thinking that in a way... we are plugged into them.

Neo: But we control these machines; they don't control us.

Councillor Harmann: Of course not. How could they? The idea is pure nonsense. But... it does make one wonder... just... what is control?

Neo: If we wanted, we could shut these machines down.

Councillor Harmann: [Of] course. That's it. You hit it. That's control, isn't it? If we wanted we could smash them to bits. Although, if we did, we'd have to consider what would happen to our lights, our heat, our air...

Neo: So we need machines and they need us, is that your point, Councilor?

Councillor Harmann: No. No point. Old men like me don't bother with making points. There's no point.

Neo: Is that why there are no young men on the council?

Councillor Harmann: Good point.

=============================================

Remember this conversation ?
If you have seen Matrix Reloaded, you probably have ... one of the very key points the movie makes ...

Just a few days ago ( 3 and a half to be precise ), my phone line .. from which I get my broadband, got dinked ...
And, this, as you must have guesses it, starved me out of my internet connection.

Now, I am NOT one of your classic nerds or geeks who cannot do without the internet ... I can ...
But somehow, not being able to access it, check email and stuff, made me restless ...

I could no longer ... just connect and google for something that I didnt understand ...
Didn't know how to do something ? Then was just stuck up there ...
Probably had to pick one of the reference books I had bought years ago and flip through the pages ...
In other words, I was plain paralysed ...

Life was not always like this ...
During my dial up days ( may they rest in peace ), when the prices would pinch the pocket, I could do without checking my mail 3 times a day ...
Whenever got stuck, would pull out some book and actually go through it ...

Just the other day was talking to one of my friends and we were discussing, how we no longer consider accessing the internet as a privelege ... or it being something cool ...
Its a way of life ...

And it confuses me and makes me wonder, how some students doing Engineering have no email account .. or most of them check emails like once in a year, which causes their accounts to expire.

Ignorance is bliss I guess ...
Once you get sucked into all this, it gets difficult to pull out ...

Technology makes life simpler for you ... but then once you have used it, addiction is imperative.
Also, depending on technology, so much, in a country like India, where the basic infrastructure is not strong enough to support technology ... is very dangerous ...

Like, I had to send a parcel to US the other day ... and went to the post office at 8 in the morning hoping to wrap it all up by 8:30
Of course, they didn't have lights ...

I had to wait for an hour while they got their UPS or generators, or whatever they had - started ... because without computers, they could not process my parcel ...
How did they do it BEFORE they started using computers ???

Another place where all hell breaks loose is banks and bill paying counters which use computers exclusively ... and the lights go ...

Had to pick up a draft from ICICI to pay my Engg fees .. and they could not process my request because their central servers were down ...
And they, for the love of God, could not give me a hand written draft like in the good old days ...

Had to wait for four hours for a draft, which I could easily get in 10 minutes from a co operative bank still doing work the old way ...
( I am saying this coz I think almost all Nationalised Banks and Private Banks in Pune are now computerised ... Actually most of the co operative banks are too ... yay !!! )

My point in this entire discussion being ... using technology for simplifying your life, is like tasting blood ( please ... I'm speaking figuratively ) ... it becomes extremely difficult to go back to old ways ...
And if you're in a country like India, and still get roped in, don't forget how to do things the old way ...
Not yet ... anyways ...

The whole people - importance thingy ...

This blog will be on a different note ... I will be deviating from my usual "trying to be funny" blogs ..

This does not concern with any person in particular, but an ideology in general ...
Why do people expect to be treated with importance ?

By this, I dont mean, the regular respect and courtesy which every individual has a right too ... but I mean, people, who feel offended, if not shown respect too ...
Or the ones, who need that constant licking, so that they feel alright ...

I mean, its not the man, but the achievement which commands the respect ... doesn't it ?
How many of us, admire Bill Gates, not for the money he has ... but the way he's earned it ?

In the past, I have come across so many individuals ... professors, people working in Govt Organisations, etc etc ... who want to be so badly treated with respect ...
We had a professor once, who would start off most of his lectures with .. I did this ... I did that ...
And, the entire class had to sit and tolerate all the non sense, only because our 50 marks were in his hands ...

Isn't the importance you associate with a person - in context ?
Like, we have a prof back in my junior college, whom I respect a lot ...
He told us this thing ... which I want to share now ...

I think, his point was, that there is no practical use of doing Trignometry and Calculus and all that stuff if you really wouldn't want to use it ever ...
He said, that if you go to a rickshawala, and tell him that you have a Phd in Mathematics or something like that ... his reply would most probably be ...
"Who gives a damn ? How does your Phd make a difference to me ?"

The point which I want to state is that everything is in context ...
If you were a PhD in Maths and were talking to a MSc, he would be pretty impressed, but I guess the rickshawala wouldnt care a damn ...

For example, when I were to meet my dad's boss in a wedding, is it supposed to make a difference to me ?
He is my 'dads' boss ... not mine ...
Why should I treat him any differently ...

Wanted to add another point of view ... The entire 'standards' thingy ...
A person might be very important ... if you believe in the same standards as he does.
What if you dont accept the same standards which make the person worthy of importance ...

Like, the people who wrote the constitution of India, felt that the backward class people and related reserved sections of the society, should have a quota reserved for them in Educational institutes, because they need it ...

I believe that if a person wants to pursue a course, he should be worthy of it, and be able to get it on his own merit.
Though that person ( who made the reservations ) would be God for some people, he doesn't make any difference to me ... because I don't believe in his standards ....
On the contrary, I kinda hate him ...

Average students who slog hard throughout their lives and end up with 80 - 85 percent marks, get admission in the second best colleges, end up paying 50 grand a year for their degree ... while the reserved category people, with 60% marks get into the best colleges, finish a 4 year course in 8 years ... that too if they are lucky ...

After all, paying a fees of 5 grand a year is peanuts, when your peers are paying 50 grand which also makes up for bulk of your fees ...

All this, just because you are worthy of studying in the college where you got admission, and they, because they have the need to ...

My typical day

[0745 hours]
It is a Saturday morning ...
Quite early for me to wake up ...
Logged on to the internet to check mail ...
The plan of the day : simple
Finish 2 writeups, 6 programs

[0930 hours]
Finish putting the last morsel of breakfast in my mouth.
Time to put the plan in action.

[1127 hours]
Put the finishing touches on 1st writeup.
1 big one more to go ...

[1131 hours]
Finish drawing the margin for the 2nd write up and start writing

[1133 hours]
Call from mom ... She's given her car for servicing ...
Have to go and buy spares and leave them with mechanic

[1203 hours]
With uncle at car shop, paying the money

[1227 hours]
Sitting at granny's place ... waiting to pick up mom from clinic.
Write ups completed : 1/2
Programs writted : 0/6

[1304 hours]
Reach home after picking up mom.

[1348 hours]
Finished lunch
Back to work

[1452 hours]
Call from Mechanic.
The right drive shaft turned out to be of a Wagon R instead of a Zens

[1512 hours]
At Mechanics
Mechanic remembers he forgot to ask me to get something else ...
Mechanic gives a list of more 3 things to buy before tomorrow

[1517 hours]
On way back home with heavy drive shaft jutting out of my Kiney on potholled roads

[1526 hours]
At entrance of society
Rear tyre starts wobbling tremendously ...

[1527 hours]
Rear tyre completely out of air

[1528 hours]
Kick the bike in frustruation

[1530 hours]
Finally at home, with what feels like an hour of dragging a bike with a flat rear tyre.
Dragged bike for distance of 300 mts in about 2 mins 40 seconds
Number of times bike foot stand hit calf : 12

[1547 hours]
Get up after having changed the flat tyre

[1602 hours]
Back in room
Wasting time on the computer
Write ups done : 1/2
Programs written : 0 / 6

[1806 hours]
Dropped mom to clinic on bike

[1856 hours]
At tyre repair guy's shop
Still getting flat fixed

[1908 hours]
Leaving shop
On scavenger hunt for the remaing stuff to give mechanic

[1912 hours]
Standing in front of closed car shop which was open in the morning

[1921 hours]
Still searching for shops which have the requisite stuff

[1955 hours]
Back at home after successful scavenger hunt

[2214 hours]
Just putting finishing touches on 2nd write up
Write ups completed : 2/2
Programs written : 0/6

[2356 hours]
Finishing stupid blog
Expecting many hate emails and comments
Write ups completed : 2/2
Programs written : 0/6
Result : "Screwed" on Monday


"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong ..."

Comments ... Word Verification ...

Just a quick thing ...

I enabled the Word Verification on my comments thingy ...
Seems that the only comments I get these days are by spammers ...

So, for all those of you who still take the trouble of commenting and letting me know that there are people who read what I put up, I am sorry, but you'll have to key in an extra word ...

Sorry, but this step has become necessary ...

aarrgghhh!!!!!!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Read somewhere that bloggers use blogs to remove frustruation ...
My life's a mess ...

I am having one of those mid-mid-life crisis ...
I hope that it gets better soon !!!

Until then,
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There ... feeling better already :)

It's the end of the world ... and I feel fine ...

If you had watched the movie Independence Day carefully, you'd notice that there is a song playing very often in the background which goes
"It's the end of the world ... as we know it ... know it ... and I feel fine ..."

Its sung by R.E.M

Anyways, seriously ... is it really the end of the world .. or am I just being paranoid ?
These have been the worst monsoons ever ... and I have been through the thick and thin of it ...
And the worst part is that it has not yet stopped and does not the least bit look like it ...

It's already almost mid September and the rains seem relentless ...
Mumbai has been flooded for ... I don't know how many times over ...

The infrastructure is pathetic as it is ... but the rains have just worsened it to new heights ...

There is an actual stretch of road here in Pune, which starts from Residency Club to the Don Bosco Bridge ( for those of you in Pune and know the place ) that is so, so, so, so, so bad ... that I swear to God, you would probably be better off taking a 5 km extra long path, just so you could avoid the 500 mts or so of that road ...

I mean, people actually come on bikes till the entrance of the road, look at it and turn back and go another way ...

I had the pleasure of getting stuck on it in my car ...
The only other time, I was so scared was when I was in a pretty big roller coaster sometime ago.

I dont have my camera with me right now, otherwise I would take pictures and post it.

Anyways, the weather has really turned lop sided this year ... and it has happened so suddenly ..
Last year, most of the things were normal .. but now, rain has become such a part of our lives that you wonder why it isn't raining at the moment ...

If I could bring your attention to a very recent movie ... "The Day After Tommorrow" which was completely about the shift in weather patterns and everything freezing over, it does not look so sci - fi now ... does it ?

Saurabh's Seminar Tips ...

Okay, was just doing TP online in the morning ( ya ! I get up in the morning too ) when I got a comment regarding my previous blog ...
And then I realised ... crap ( its better than saying shit ... ) !
I forgot to post my set of tips in my previous post ... which was the main intention ...

However, the previous one was so long and I wrote it in 2 sittings, that by the end of it, just wanted to finish it off ...
So, naturally forgot to write the tips ...

======================================
These are to be followed on your own risk ... I am not responsible for you getting chucked out of the college ... Though it is a remote possibility ...
But just washing my hands off it anyways ...
======================================

Okay, so here goes ...

====================
The first and the foremost thing is that you DO NOT want to ... and I repeat ... DO NOT want to bore the examiner or any other people sitting for your seminar.

If by the end, the examiner is yawning, and has trouble remembering what your topic was, you are pretty done for anyways ...
=====================

Okay, read carefully ...

How you plan to start, and how much time you spend on preparing your start depends on the time of day and the number at which you will be giving your seminar.

If you are one of the people giving the starting 3 seminars of the day, you probably dont need to work on your starting much ...

But, if you are giving your seminar just before the lunch or towards the end of day, or sometime in the middle, when you know, people will be dead ... a little intro video or music will do wonders to your marks.
No matter how stupid your friends think of your effort to put some stupid sound track on the first page, do it ...

It wakes the people and makes them attentive enough to be able to sit through your seminar.
Not to mention the examiers too ...

A friend of mine had his, second last before break and he started with the Kill Bill soundtrack.
Most of the people were laughing when he said that he'd be putting the soundtrack ...
He almost changed his mind, but last minute decided to go with it ...
His seminar probably turned out to be one of the best of the day ... even though he had a not so interesting topic.

And I noticed that almost 75% of the class sat attentively through his presentation for 8 out of the 15 minutes that he was there ...
So, if your start is good, half the battle is won.

========================
Also, make sure that you end well ... its pretty difficult and I found only a couple of people pulled it off ...
Though, this is not as important as starting well ... for obvious reasons ...

Firstly, most of your audience left are your loyal friends ... and the examiners give the marks somewhere in the middle of your seminar.
So, unless you really botch up your ending, you should do fine ...

Just start well ...

=========================
I cannot stress enough for the fact that you should make your seminar interesting ...
No matter what your topic ...

Your presentation does not have to stick to the paper ... it can deviate a lot ...
When preparing your ppt, ask yourself whether you would actually want to sit and listen to it in the audience ...

If the answer is 'NO' ... you're probably going about it the wrong way ...
==========================

Hard work always pays ...
Search, search, search the internet for flashier icons ... and the works ...

Make your stuff look good ... even though it means burning the mid night oil a day before ...
===========================

Using a default template is definitely a no - no.
Almost all the people in my class made their own templates ....
Not only does it give you originality and allows you to make your presentation resemble your seminar topic, you also avoid putting on a template someone else used already ...
===========================

Watch out for the colour scheme ... What may look good on your monitor, may not look good on the projector ...

Try to keep a white bg with black / blue text or the inverse ...

If there is not enough cover in your seminar hall ( like we did not have curtains and there was a lot of light ), you'd be better of using a black bg and white text ...
I screwed up in this regard ... I had a white bg with Blue text
===========================

And finally, my list of things that will get you killed and things which will save your ass ...
( Compiled painstakingly during the presentations )

THINGS WHICH YOU'D GET KILLED FOR
( i.e. things which you should not do ... duh ! )

1. Going technical very early
- Bad mistake ... People who do this, will lose 80% of their audience within 5 seconds ...
Take my word on it ... No one, and that includes even the examiner, is interested in seeing protocols and architectural diagrams ...
Though this is important ( to show that you did some work ) keep it at last after you've said what you wanted people to hear

2. Lots of Architecture Diagrams
3. Not preparing the presentation well
4. No eye contact with the audience
5. Speaking fast

6. Using an auto timer on the slides.
- This is by far the worst you could do for yourself.
Don't be stupid and dont try to show off unneccesarily ...
Advance the slides yourself ... and if it is too much work, bribe a friend to do it for you.

7. Underlining text
- Does not look cool ... not always anyways ...
Try CAPITALISING or making text bold.

8. Bad font selection ...
- Avoid using fonts like Times etc .. they dont look good on screen

==============================
THINGS THAT WILL SAVE YOUR ASS
( or the things that you SHOULD DO )

1. Give more real life examples
- Something that people can relate too ...

2. Use more easy to understand images

3. Do something to grab people's attention at the beginning of the seminar
- Use video, audio, aliens, do a strip show ... anything ...
Just make sure people give you atleast 5 minutes to get their attention full time.

4. Speak loudly and confidently.

==============================
Okay, that was another long blog ...
So, me will again lay off for a while ...

Put up a comment if you need more help specifically.

And if you find this information useful, please consider making a donation to my PayPal account.
( Hey, I just bought a cell ... down by a lot of cash ... need to make that up somehow ! )

Scenes from a Seminar Hall

We just finished our BE Seminars a couple of days ago, and I am still basking in the sense of achievement that I did not screw it up ...

Oh well, some idiot messed with the projector settings and my slides got all screwed and stuff, but other then that, it was mostly okay ...

Getting into the meat of things, I wanted to write about the observations that I had during the 4 gruelling days of sitting and listening to other people talk mostly about subjects which I had no interest off ...

So, here goes ... the people who make up a typical seminar situation ...

1. The Guy Giving the Seminar
This without doubt is the most important guy in the seminar room.
The poor soul, whose worst fear is of public speaking ( even greater than death ), is made to stand up in front of 50 people, who are mostly not interested in whatever he has to say.
On top of that, he is expected to narrate and manage the slides in the 15 minutes alloted to him.
These people fall in the following category ...

1.1 - The under time fellows
These are the people who prepared too few a slides, and probably did not practise enough to realise that they did not fall into the 13 - 15 minute category.
These people make up about 35% of the crowd and finish their seminar, to the delight of all others, within 8 - 9 minutes.
The number of slides are typically just around 20 and the topics covered are generally superficial, and application oriented ( non technical ) which does not allow for more matter, and hence more time for the presentation.

Notable features are lots of pausing and umms and aahhs ... which basically help them get to 8 minutes ...

1.2 - The good time fellows
Most of the people fell in this category. I'd say about 50% of the people ...
These people have generally practised atleast once and finish off their seminars between 13 - 14 minutes.
These people generally, are not very hated and the they have a good mix of technical and non technical information, evenly spaced out ...
These people probably end up with the most marks.

Notable features are generally decent presentations and many a times, elocution like speeches which come off as mugged up ...
Quite a few topics falling in this category are decent and worth listening too ...

1.3 - The over time fellows
These people generally shoot off their 15 minutes.
This species, has trouble, not knowing what matter to cut down and how much to speak on.
Either the person has really prepared the entire seminar on his own ( thus not being able to delete the content that he so painstakingly collected ) or the fellow just copied the entire seminar of some person from another college ...

Notable characteristics are skipping through atleast 20 slides, rushing off so fast that people didnt even get the topic.
And mostly, the ability to cram 40 - 50 slides in the space of 15 minutes.

2 - The Examiners
These people are the most confused people sitting in the hall.
They either know that they have no idea about what you are talking or they 'think' they have an idea of what you are talking.

What students generally worry about is not whether they will be able to answer the questions these people ask at the end of the seminar, but whether they will be able to somehow relate their topic to the questions asked by these people ...

Therefore, questions such as "But don't you need some p2p network to use BitTorrents ?" after a seminar on BitTorrents, or a question like "Tell me the application of Red Tacton in touch screens ..." ( Red Tacton is a method of transferring data by human touch ) are asked.

And the students are left totally bewildered and are lost for words.

We had a examiner who had his head so high up his a** that he asked questions to each and every student ...
No matter if the question was the least bit related ...
Naturally, most of the people trying to answer would be left fumbling and confused ...

This guy would sit back, look at the hapless student and smile ... thinking that he was oh, so smart and clever to ask such questions ...
And sitting at the back, we would think, "What a moron !"

3 - The General Audience
These people make up for maximum of the crowd.
If you can speak well and hold their attention, you can keep them interested for exactly 3 minutes.
After which, most of them go to sleep, or put those ear phones back on ...

In the very rare event, do these listen to the entire seminar ...
And if they do, you can be rest assured that you have done a good job.

4 - Your loyal friends
These people are your truest buddies from the class.
They will turn up for your seminar and even sit through it, patiently, attentively trying to grasp every word that comes out of your mouth - never mind it not making the wee bit sense ...

Nodding everytime you look at them - to give you confidence.
These are the people, you'd probably need most during the 15 minutes ... and the ones to start clapping as soon as you've answered a couple of questions, to spare you from the slaughter ...

5 - The Not So Friendly ...
These people are the ones who have been waiting patiently, anxiously even ... for you to get up there for your seminar.
They prepare, conspire, read your report, so that they can ask you questions which you probably wouldn't be able to answer in the Q & A round.

These ploys generally fail and seldom work, thus adding more insult to injury ...
Interesting attributes include, asking multiple variants of the same question and back questioning, till they get tired themselves, or the person answers with a shrug, and the words, "I don't know ..."

6 - The Plants ...
These are the ones which you pass on questions to, to be asked during the Q&A round.
Probably the only ones you can answer properly ... with confidence ...

These are very easily noticeable, because mostly the questions are very lame, multiplied with lamer acting on the part of the person asking the question ...
This is generally followed by some scratching of the head or stammering on the part of the person giving the seminar, so that it all looks authentic ...

The biggest give away of this entire operation is that the plants are generally seated within a radius of 2 to 3 people of the person giving the seminar ... before he got up to give it ...
Helps in the easy passing out of chit questions ...

Next blog, what to do and what not to in a seminar cum presentation ...